you were wrong to think that you wouldn't see chris again, after things had ended in the way that they did.

it ended with you ending things, both of you coming to an agreement that things had gotten too real for the both of you. too real, too fast.

with both of you sharing self-destructive tendencies when it came to avoiding relationships, it was too easy for the both of you to end it before things could get any more complicated than they already were.

to just... stop existing in each other's lives.

you'd started out as just a fan, before you got close to him and his brothers when you'd just clicked with them, chris especially.

so, it was easy. to just... stop. no longer a part of his life.

at least, that's what he convinced himself — that you were only a fan, never mind the physical, sexual relationship you'd had during that time, and that you were never ever friends, even if that was a complete lie — to cope with it.

he'd never let a girl affect him or his feelings — not after the damage madisyn had done to him, who was the first girl to ever break his heart.

and he couldn't let that change. not even with you.

and you? well, you were heartbroken about it, but forced yourself to push it all down and pretend that none of it ever happened — that you'd never ever even met him in the very-rare way that you had.

he had his time with youtube, his brothers, exciting parties and cool events to distract him, and you used your very chaotic life as a distraction to soothe the broken heart you'd never stopped carrying since you'd both ended things for the better.

you couldn't think about it — that none of it was real, just physical to him, and that he'd surely moved on to some other girl, knowing his reputation with girls. because it hurt too much.

you were just glad that you didn't ever have to face him again. even if you missed him badly.

and it wasn't just the physical part that you missed.

it was the way you'd just hang out with him and his brothers. or just having some silly, bickering argument that usually ended as quick as it started because he was just too soft for you. or how you could yap for hours.

or maybe the way he'd always been there for you — took care of you and cared about you like no one else in your life had.

or the way it felt so real with him.

but, you do see each other again. for the first time.

madi had convinced you to come over, to hang out, which of course was the boys's house, since she usually stays there anytime that she's in L.A.

it was supposed to be just the two of you, since the boys were supposed to be out, for some... party.

and you knew this, which honestly kinda made it obvious that chris had moved on — if he's out and at parties, around other girls, he has to have been fine without you. and that kind of hurts.

but, madi made it so easy to stop thinking about it. to distract you.

and you had to admit that you missed hanging out — with her, with the boys, with all of your other friends here, and especially with chris.

you just didn't think you'd see him again. not now.

but, boy, were you wrong.

your conversation with madi? completely interrupted and forgotten about.

that's obvious when you suddenly hear the door opening and shutting.

then, the sound of two voices, bickering, and footsteps up the stairs.

both nick and chris, bickering, you quickly realize.

the voices travel, until you see matt coming up the stairs first, looking annoyed — probably from having to listen to nick's and chris's however-the-hell-long argument.

it's then, when matt notices you there, with madi, in the living room, and clears his throat and cuts off the bickering between his brothers, that it's clear.

for the first time, you're really in the same room, after so long.

chris's annoyed face quickly changes to surprised, reaction from the argument switching to surprise, directed at you.

"ma?" is the only thing that comes out of his mouth, too speechless to say anything else.

and it's so obvious that he still cares about you.

maybe to everyone but you, at least.