The soft hum of The Starting Line seeped into the parking lot of The Black Dog, twisting the knife that was always present in your heart these days. One day you’d be able to hear the song and not automatically associate it with Rafe Cameron.

Sarah frowned beside you, noticing the way your shoulders slumped. Forcing a smile you don’t feel, you reach for your phone, brow furrowed as it pings in your hand.

“Oh” you murmur, staring down at the alert. You can feel bile rising up in the back of your throat, the pain hitting you in a way that makes you feel sick. “He’s here. He forgot to turn off his location” you show your screen to Sarah, your hand slightly shaking.

and so I watch as you walk into some bar called The Black Dog

“We can go somewhere else. Let’s go”

“No, no” you shake your head, trying to sound more confident than you feel. “I’m going to have to see him eventually.”

Sarah sticks close to you as the two of you walk into the bar, like she’s trying to shield you from the imminent pain. Any confidence you had felt, leaves you when your gaze lands on him and the girl you assume is his date. Pain, pure heartbreak burns through you, dragging you back into the darkness you’d become too comfortable in.

and it hits me, I just don’t understand

Rafe looks up from his date, his eyes meeting yours, a mixture of guilt, regret and love flickering over his face. He swallows, his throat feeling tight as he tries to push down the storm of swirling emotions. He wasn’t a stranger to poor decisions, but he knew for you, this would be the final nail in the coffin. He’d been in his own way the whole time. It’s all my fault the thought echoes around in his mind, but it’s not one that he can give away to you.

The two of you are frozen in place, staring at each other like it would physically hurt to tear your eyes from each other.

old habits die screaming