Regulus wanted to scream, throw his iBook out the window, and maybe hire a hitman—or three. His laptop sat open on his bed, displaying the bane of his existence. Gossip Girl’s latest blog post.

Hey there, Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s Elite. Here’s a fun fact for you: gold can be black. And our favorite boy certainly is golden — or was, until someone saw him with the gray mouse of the school. Careful, golden boy, you might just get tarnished.

You know you love me

xoxo Gossip Girl

Regulus gawked at the screen, his stomach twisting into knots. This couldn’t be happening. He let himself enjoy one nice thing — just one! — and this is what he gets? The audacity.

Did Sirius write this garbage? Or Barty? At this rate he’s gonna need a private detective.

The words on the screen taunted him, almost daring him to react. He glanced back at the blog post, the Gossip Girl logo mocking him from the corner.

Gold doesn’t even tarnish! This bitch.

Sighing heavily, Regulus dropped onto the bed with a dramatic flop. The iBook wobbled precariously on the mattress, and he gave it a disgusted side-eye, like it had personally betrayed him.

He wanted to bury his head under the covers and never come out again, but he had a reputation to maintain.

The first logical step was to find out who spilled the details to Gossip Girl. The list of suspects was depressingly long. Everyone in their world loved to gossip, especially when it came to him. And now, thanks to this mess, his already airtight reputation was at risk.

Just then, a timid knock sounded on his door. He shot up, alarm bells ringing in his head.

“Who is it?” he called out, voice sharper than intended.