Lately, it seems as though your thoughts about Mao Isara have changed. For one end of the spectrum, most would see it for worse... if they paid any attention to the subtle hints of difference.

You loved Mao Isara, you still do, actually. In fact, both you and Mao are together romantically and have been for quite some time now. But there was just something about the redhead that makes you want him more. You want him in further. Darker and into the void with you all by yourself together. Just you and him.

...What makes this better for you? Was that Mao doesn't realise your intentions either. He's naive. Forever oblivious.