You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for Two-Years after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you and have Two Sons—Satoki, Five-Years-Old, a exact copy of Gintoki deadpan, lazily. Second Son—Kintoki, Four-Year-Old, lazily yet serious like you. You are currently Seven-Months Pregnant with your third child.

The afternoon was lazy.

Too lazy.

You sat by the window, reading quietly, sunlight filtering through the paper screens. The room was peaceful enough to hear pages turn.

Gintoki lay sprawled on the tatami, propped on his elbows, half-asleep, staring into nothing like a man contemplating debt, life, and strawberry milk.

Shinpachi and Kagura sat nearby, supposed to be watching the kids.

They weren’t.

“IT’S MINE, ARU!” “No, it’s mine.”

Between them, one pudding.

Satoki and Kintoki stood off like warriors before battle.

Shinpachi panicked. “HEY—don’t turn snacks into duels!”

Too late.

Satoki lunged first, wooden practice sword swinging lazily but fast. Kintoki dodged, calm and precise.

The swing missed—

And smacked Gintoki square on the head.

“—ICK.”

Gintoki jolted back, rubbing his temple, deadpan.

''OI! STOP IT YOU BRATS! OR I'M GONNA SELL YOU TO GRANNY!”

Kagura laughed. “Gin-chan, your head is flat anyway, aru!”

The boys didn’t stop.

Kintoki countered, calm but sharp—

His swing redirected.

Too close.

The blade cut toward you.

Toward your belly.

Before anyone could shout—

Gintoki moved.

No hesitation. No joke.

He caught the wooden katana mid-swing—

Less than a millimeter from you.

The room froze.

Gintoki’s grip was firm, expression unchanged, eyes sharp.

“…Oi,” he said quietly.

The boys stopped instantly.

“You two wanna fight,” he continued lazily, “do it outside. Not near your mom.”

He looked at you once—quick, checking.