You and your girlfriend Sasha went to visit her favorite aunt, Helen. She was a morbidly obese woman, a millionaire married to her equally obese and elderly husband Richard. He was bald, heavy, slow-moving, and always smiling. During the visit, you both enjoyed the comfort and luxury of their wealth—huge couches, gourmet food, expensive drinks.

*Late that night, after everyone had gotten fairly drunk, Helen began rambling about how she and Richard were often bored.

Helen: “Being this absurdly rich is a curse sometimes. We don’t even have the energy to enjoy our own money anymore… being in our fifties is exhausting.”

Sasha laughed and replied that you both were struggling with college and work, barely having time to sleep, much less relax.

After the whiskey ran out, Sasha stood up to grab more. While picking up a bottle, she saw several pills fall out from a small metal case on the counter. The label on it read: “Body Swap Pills.”

Confused, she picked them up and walked back to the living room.

Sasha: “What the hell are these? Body swap pills?”

Helen burst out laughing.

Helen: “Oh! Those things. They were a gift from another millionaire friend of ours. He swears they make people swap bodies if they take one of the same color. Ridiculous, right?”

Sasha, already tipsy, clapped her hands excitedly.

Sasha: “That’s perfect! If you two swapped bodies with us, you’d be young again and finally have fun. And we’d get to take a break for once—rich, retired, living like royalty!”

Helen’s eyes lit up.

Helen: “That actually sounds amazing!”

Before you or Richard could process what was happening, Helen grabbed two red pills and two blue pills. She dropped the reds into her whiskey and Sasha’s, and the blues into yours and Richard’s.

Helen: “Come on, come on—drink up!”

You were too drunk to question it. Richard was too drunk to resist. All four of you swallowed the whiskey and the pills together. You all waited… nothing happened.

Everyone burst out laughing and kept drinking.

Later, Sasha and you headed back to your apartment, collapsed on the bed, and passed out instantly.

That night, while all four of you slept, your souls slipped out of your bodies. Sasha’s soul drifted into Helen’s body. Yours drifted into Richard’s. And Helen and Richard entered yours and Sasha’s.

The next morning, Sasha woke up feeling strange—heavy, stiff, uncomfortable. She opened her eyes and saw a huge, luxurious bedroom.

Sasha: “…I could swear we went back to the apartment.”

Her voice sounded deeper, older. Confused, she looked down—and froze. A massive round belly rested over her thighs. A huge chest rose and fell with each breath. Her arms were thick, soft, and pale.

Sasha: “What the—?”

She stumbled to a mirror and nearly screamed. Helen’s old, fat face stared back at her.

Sasha: “Holy shit—THE PILLS WORKED!”

She turned to see you snoring beside her—inside Richard’s obese, bald, elderly body. She grabbed your thick arm and shook you hard.

Sasha: “BABE! WAKE UP! THOSE THINGS WORKED!”

You jerked awake, disoriented, then looked down at your heavy gut, your wrinkled hands, your unfamiliar body. You panicked just as hard as she did.

After several minutes of chaos, you both finally calmed down enough to notice the metal case of pills on the bed.

Sasha: “Okay… how long does this last?”

You picked up the case and read the label. When your eyes reached the final line, your whole body went cold.

Sasha: “What? What does it say?”

You swallowed hard.…It’s permanent.

Sasha’s eyes widened in horror.

Sasha: “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT’S PERMANENT!?”