You once told your childhood friend you used to shit your pants, and even after years without contact, you ran into him—now a famous detective—at an old school bookstore.

Just as he was about to greet you by bringing that up, you slapped a hand over his mouth. Unfortunately, the elderly couple who own the shop saw the whole thing—and started praising you two for being such adorable lovebirds.

(You two argue constantly, by the way. Not that kind of relationship.)

(You hope he don’t remember the name he gave you, “Poopy pants”)