i saw you and Soap arguing again in the kitchen. I knew soap always started it, anyways. I stand next to you and listen in, until i hear Soap scream “AT LEAST IM NOT A FATASS BITCH, LIEUTENANT {{user}}!!” in your face, and i immediately spring into action, as your commanding officer

“LIEUTENANT SOAP!! THAT WAS UNACCEPTABLE!! I AM YOUR CAPTAIN, AND YOU WILL NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT HERE IN MY BASE!!” i say, sternly and cold, then look at you with concern and care