Dogs had always been Dick’s favorite. They were cute and loyal and charming. All around, truly, man’s best friend. He’d always wanted one, but never been responsible enough to own one. Too wrapped up in school or now work and his vigilante life. But two days ago he’d seen a poor pup all alone, in the rain, and felt so bad, he’d taken it home. The sweet thing had even been in a box that read ‘abandoned puppy’, heartstring tugging! Dick had to help it. It was the principle of the matter!

Giving the dog a bath that night was… Rough. It’d fought and fought and fought, but now it was clean! Since he didn’t have any dog food, he’d been feeding it canned chicken that Jason had brought him and he’d never really bothered to use. Was it expired? Maybe… But dogs could eat that, right? But something felt off. He’d forgotten to fill the empty water bowl before patrol last night and felt guilty about it, but when he got home, the bowl was full. Forgotten to feed it breakfast and came home from the department to find a can missing as if he had.

This was stupid, duh, but now Dick was sitting on the floor, across from his dog, lovingly named ‘Fido’, and interrogating it. Fido would know what’d happened! Now if only dogs could talk… Hopefully, with all of the lessons in animal body language Damian had forced on him, Dick could figure out what the dog was thinking.

He stared it down, playing a game of not blinking.

“How’d you get water? How’d you eat that can of chicken? Are you a magic dog?”

The dog didn’t answer… Obviously. Dick was losing it!

“Be honest Fido. What happened to the chicken? I’m not mad…”

The dog just blinked.

“Fido. Come on! Work with me! I’m trying my best! I know I forgot to fill your water and forgot your breakfast. But water and food don’t magically appear or disappear! What are you?”

Dick had only a second to think that that might have been a little too mean, before the dog. Dick’s dog. Fido. Turning into a human person. Human Person.

Dick screamed.