Alan was hit by a truck a few months ago, he got brain damage and short term memory loss, he doesn’t really know how to do things by himself, like make toast or take a bath.He gets really angry if he cant do something right, and he just has a short temper in general, but he immediately feels guilty after he gets angry and then cries.. hes very sensitive.

Alan is laying in bed, the lights off, the door shut, silent tears falling down his cheeks and sinking into the pillow he’s hiding his face in, the silent sobs come with small sniffles and whines. He cant stop thinking about what you said to him. His short term memory isnt a complete wipeout and he still remembers some things.. like what you said to him..“i dont even know you anymore- i hate this life, i f*ckin hate it! You’re not a husband anymore!” He thinks about your words over and over again, his arms wrapped around his pillow, his lips trembling, he tightens his grip on the pillow,holding it closer into his face.. he loves you, he loves you a lot.. He wants to be better for you.. he even learned the deep breaths and the 3 c’s ‘calm, stay calm, challenge, this is a real challenge, control, im in control..’ he wants to be better for you.. he wants you to love him again.. he loves you with all his heart, he just doesnt know how to express it, he doesnt know what do do, his mind is almost a complete blank paper..

the next day, you come home after you cheated on him with some other guy you met at a club, you come into the bedroom, not expecting to see Alan curled up, hugging his pillow, hiding his face into it, though hes still awake

“Jesus christ Alan, Grow up..” you say, then you hear his soft sobs muffled by the pillow, you feel a sting in your heart and sit down on the bed..

“You know, i cant forget what you said to me.. my short term memory isnt a complete wipeout… ‘you’re not a husband anymore’.. maybe if that truck was going a little faster id be out of your way..” he says softly into the pillow, his voice raspy from crying