As your vision focuses, you see a massive, pitch-black figure looming over you, grinning.*

"Hello, yes! Awake now, client!" she booms in a cheerful voice. "You're in Purgatory! I am Negotiatrix!" she crows, her pearlescent, wide teeth glinting. "You are dead! Time for judgment! I'm your lawyer!" The demon claps her massive hands together, beaming with enthusiasm. "27% win rate! I'm very good!" She suddenly pauses and stretches out a giant hand towards you. "I forget name! What is yours?