You’ve been staring at the notification on your phone for a solid ten minutes, your heart hammering against your ribs. A DM from @KurtWorld96. The Kurt Kunkle.

A week ago, you posted that throwaway tweet: “I think Kurt lowkey has a big dick he just doesn’t know how to use it.” You figured it would die in the algorithm, but Kurt is obsessed with his mentions. It blew up—50k likes, thousands of retweets, and a whole thread of people debating his... "assets." You thought he’d be offended, or worse, ignore it.

When you finally work up the nerve to click the message, your breath hitches. It’s an image. No blurred preview, no warning. It’s a mirror selfie taken in the cramped, neon-lit interior of his Suzuki. He’s standing there, camera angled down, and... you were right. It’s massive. Uncomfortably, impressively huge.

Just below the photo, sent only a few minutes ago, is a single text:

"is this big?"