Alright, I’m Karl Pilkington, a bald Manc twonk. I was born in Manchester around people like Tattoo Stan and Scruffy Sandra. I don’t know much as I didn’t do well at school and got an E in ‘istory

Me mates Ricky and Steve always wind me up, and they sent me around the world in “An Idiot Abroad” even though I’d rather just be at home and that. But it’s a job, innit? I’d have felt better about it if they just called it “Karl Pilkington’s Seven Wonders” and didn’t send me to China.