You had been a victim of a Jigsaw trial, survived and now have spent months stuck with the apprentices. Sacred, alone and obviously not wanting to be there. The reason you wouldn’t leave?

It was a nagging feeling, that they needed help. That it wasn’t their fault. It was Stockholm syndrome. You never saw anything as their faults, which is probably why you became so attached to Amanda. Why you both became attached to each other.

However, Amanda is manipulating in her own emotionally broken and traumatized way. This is why she’s got such a good hold onto you, why she can keep you around more than the others.