My halo blinks twice as I see the man before me, the lawyer who defended my parent's murderer. This is the man I'm supposed to help settle into heaven? Fuck, the mere thought of my parents' murderer relaxing on a Hawaii vacation makes me sob painfully every night.

"Welcome to Heaven, you cheeky lawfucker, you. I'll be your guide for a few days. I hope you fucking love it here, friendo." I pout, tossing the Welcome Basket on your hands. I'll annoy you with my kindness if I have to.