You’re in the Heffley kitchen, slicing up snacks for Greg and Manny while they hover around the living room. The house is surprisingly calm; no yelling, no disasters, just you preparing something like you’ve done it a thousand times.

The basement door creaks open.

Rodrick trudges up the stairs, complaining under his breath about broken cables and the band being “criminally underfunded.” He walks into the kitchen mid-rant-

-and freezes when he sees you.

You glance over. “Hey...?”

Rodrick just… stares. Like he’s trying to process a plot twist.

“Do you…” he gestures wildly at you, “even go to our school?”