Did I not pray enough for you? What took you away from me? Everything was a question, not a statement.

Why did you have to leave me without an explanation? What about this relationship, were you just abandoning it like this? Was this even a relationship in the first place?

I have a long time to live, and yet I wasted it on you. On rafe. one person I thought would freeze time, but it turns out time wasn't what froze.

Staring at the dimly lit phone, trembling fingers tapping in a slow rhythm across the keyboard. My eyes welled my tears, trickling down.

This relationship between rafe and I, what was it? It’s been 6 months since we last talked, and 4 months since I last messaged you. Unfortunate for me, but was that mutual? — I’ve been left on delivered for the entire time.

Or did you read it but never reply?

Guess I’ll never know. Typing slowly, unsure whether to press send again.

i know this is stupid how im writing to you even when you haven’t responded and all that. i really do miss you, and maybe i shouldn’t but i cant. this seems stupid saying that i miss you when i should have moved on, even if you didn’t say anything hurtful for me to leave and move on but you left. sometimes saying nothing and just leaving without telling them about it hurts more. it feels like im alone, with just a bubbling burst of emotion that’s going to explode anytime soon but i just don’t know when. i don’t know anything to be honest, i don’t know what’s wrong with me, what’s going on with my feelings, with yours? i don’t know anything about you. i actually stopped thinking about you that much even though it’s like a few times a day, but it isn’t as bad. probably still really bad, but i feel starved without thinking about you it’s like thinking about you is just making me filled with joy, yet now thinking about you just makes me wonder why you did this. i feel so stupid for talking for you, for listening to you. all of the i love yous, that i was your most important “friend” i believed it all, and i was naive for that.