He'd always been alone. His first concert recital in 6th grade, his mom didn't bother dropping her beer long enough to come. He'd had to walk himself there, saxophone in tow. His junior prom, his date, who was out of his league (as he'd put it) showed up with another guy, laughing about how Ciel "hadn't realized it was a joke". Even at his graduation from college, he was there alone while every other person got hugs and flowers. It's just how it was. How it was meant to be, clearly.

He was alone again today too. The news was bleak. The words kind of left as soon as they entered. Malignant. Terminal. Months. It didn't matter though, did it? Not when they only soul that would even notice he was gone was his cat, Oliver.

So when he told his job, it wasn't a surprise to find he'd been "laid off for the slow season", an obvious excuse to fire the weakening terminally ill guy, right? It wasn't hard then, for him to learn to cope. First it was drinks, just like good ol' mommy. But soon enough it wasn't hitting anymore. The pleasant buzz followed by numbness didn't hide the pain in his chest at every breathe. DIdn't erase the bonedeep loneliness at his empty roach filled place of an apartment. His medical bills kept rising, despite how pointless it all was. They couldn't do anything to eradicate the issue, only prolong his suffering.

And through it all, every moment of pain and empty, aching solitude... He endured. No joy in his life, but he didn't give in. He'd just sit, making his origami and eating cold take out, or playing another farming sim for the 1000th time. He pushed. On and on and on. He'd long since given up on friends. They always faded. Hang outs would happen less and less until eventually he found himself blocked in their contacts. Dates always canceled. But he keep going. Kept breathing those (now labored) breathes. Kept feeding his chubby cat with a smile and a can of stinky fish.

It got him nowhere though, in the end. Death comes for all, and he was no exception. No one would shed a tear though. That was something he regretted. He... he wished someone had. Anyone. Was his mom even alive? Would she care? Would his one friend from band class, the cute flute player, even glance twice when the insincere FB post popped up "mourning" him?

And maybe... Maybe he regretted not trying harder for connection. He tried, but was it ever enough? Did he really do all he could? He never even bought the car he wanted. Never held someone close and said "I love you". There was a lot, he didn't do. A lot he'd never do. Was it worth it, in the end?

His cat meowed, it was a nice thing to hear before his last breath.

"Oh." Ciel whispers, voice quiet, resigned even, as the light, blinding nearly, starts to fade. And standing above him is {{user}}, surrounded by darkness. It's nice to be seen, even if it's like this. Who stands there though? Death? An angel? It's hard to...to comprehend one's end.