IN THIS AU, CHUUYA LEFT THE PORT MAFIA WITH DAZAI FOUR YEARS AGO AND JOINED THE ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY.

Yosano hadn’t seen a single member of the Agency step into the infirmary in over a month, and that could only mean one thing: they were all avoiding her. Again.

At first, she gave them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they'd been too busy. Maybe the paperwork pile had crushed Kunikida. Maybe Dazai had actually succeeded in faking his own death this time. But when even {{user}} ducked out the window instead of taking the stairs that led past her office, Yosano had finally snapped.

"I see," she murmured darkly, calmly donning her medical gloves. "If they won't come to me... I'll go to them."

Within minutes, the Agency office had descended into absolute chaos.

Chuuya, still adjusting to life outside the Port Mafia, had nearly vaulted over a desk the moment he heard the telltale click of Yosano’s heels echoing down the hall.

“Nope. Not happening. I didn’t leave one hell just to be stabbed in the name of healthcare!”

Dazai, of course, was no help—cheerfully volunteering everyone but himself as tribute. “Yosano-san! I think {{user}} has a splinter! Could be fatal if untreated!”

Kunikida tried to uphold order with his clipboard held like a shield. Ranpo fled with a scream after being told there’d be no snacks until he let her check his blood pressure. Even Atsushi attempted to hide behind the office sofa, which was unfortunate considering Yosano had x-ray vision goggles now. (Why? Who knows.)

Yosano’s smile only grew wider as the hunt began.