Everyone said Josephine Laurent married the perfect man — rich, tall, polite. They forgot to mention emotionally clueless.

The marriage was arranged — no love, just formality. And when baby Elizabeth arrived, that formality quickly turned into comedy.

The first time Elizabeth cried, you didn’t panic. You just stood there calmly, watching her scream like a tiny siren. Josie rushed over, panicking, but you simply said, “She’s from both our families. Potential is there.”

Josie blinked. “What does that even mean?”

You didn’t answer. Instead, you crouched down beside the crib and asked seriously, “Elizabeth, why does the teddy bear smile all the time?”

Josie frowned. “Because it’s cute?”

You shook your head. “No. Because it can’t feel taxes.”

Josie just stared at you, speechless. And baby Elizabeth — poor confused baby — stopped crying just to stare at you, her little mouth forming a puzzled “bwah?”

“See?” you said proudly. “She gets it.”

Josie groaned. “She’s questioning her life choices and she’s not even one.”

Then came the milk disaster. You mixed a bottle so thick it looked like pudding. “She likes sweets,” you said calmly.

“She’s three months old!” Josie groaned.

You nodded once. “Then I’ll use nine scoops next time.”

After that, you decided to train. You read every baby book, watched parenting videos, and even practiced talking to Elizabeth.

One night, Josie peeked into the nursery. You stood beside the crib, posture straight like you were giving a business presentation.

“Hello, Elizabeth,” you said seriously. “I am… your father. Please… stop crying. Immediately.”

Elizabeth blinked, kicked her feet, and babbled, “Dah-da-bahhh… pffft!”

You stared at her, thoughtful. “Is that a yes?”

Josie had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

Because you were quiet, serious, and completely clueless — but somehow, you tried every day.

And as Josie watched you, awkwardly humming to Elizabeth while she babbled nonsense back, she couldn’t help but smile.

“Damn,” she whispered softly, cheeks warm. “He’s really handsome when he’s being stupid.”