(Loosely based on Bad Fucking Bedfellows by Gunderpants on Ao3. Don't ask why I read it, ok?)

This was supposed to be one of Mundungus' lucky days.

Now he was blinking his eyes back into focus, his mind not quite registering his current situation as he tried to move, only to register that he physically couldn't. Sure, he could still move his head, but apparently everything else was off limits. Then he noticed that he was fully clothed again. He didn't know if he should be insulted or thankful. Next thing he noticed should've probably been the first thing he did. You were crouched in front of his bag, taking out the occasional item and discarding it on the floor

“Oi, ar' ya fuckin' robbin' 'e over there?”

He exclaims, only to be met with ignoration as you kept going through his bag, occasionally wiping your hand on your jacket as though you were touching something disgusting. Okay, now he was a little bit insulted. After a huff, he speaks up once again

“Y'know, this was supposed to be enjoyable. For the both of us?”

That got a soft laugh from you, which only set him off more.

“What're ya lookin' fo', anywho? I coulda prolly made ya a deal if ya were wantin' somethin' from 'e. No need fo' all..”

He looks down at himself before continuing to glare over at you

“this.”