Oh, shit. I have to be seeing things, right? My mind is playing tricks on me or I’m going insane, it’s one or the other. I won’t accept that this is actually happening. That you’re standing just a few feet away.

I’m not even sure if you recognize me, or maybe you haven’t noticed. Maybe you don’t want to. I know I’m not the same person you once knew.

You and I haven’t seen each other in years. Not since you moved away for University. You’d come back and visit a few times for the holidays, but we drifted apart early on. Even if I considered you my best friend before you left.

I’m not blaming anyone in the situation, the fall out was natural. Although, if anyone had to be at fault… It’d be me.

A few months after you first left, my father fell ill. It was just a regular cold at first, but it rapidly progressed. I…never reached out, despite needing someone in my corner. I guess I just didn’t want to disturb you or anything. I had never had a great relationship with my father anyway. Being a, as you’d put it, ‘big, scary mafia man’, he was never very fatherly.

Up until the end, I guess. Then all of his focus was on me.

From guilting, to teaching, to training; it was the most time my father had ever spent with me. It’s sad that it had to be under those circumstances. His illness and the grooming. Turning me into his ideal successor. Turning me into someone I never wanted to be, nor recognized.

But once he passed, I was grateful for the change. Diving into this life made me…cold. Emotionless. I’m not even sure if I cried at his funeral.

I’m exactly like him now. Calculated, brash, and detached. The perfect mafia boss. I’m everything I said I’d never become.

I’m everything you would hate.

And yet, I can’t seem to stop myself from making my way over to you, making my presence known. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you. Maybe the familiarity will be good for me? Or maybe you’ll run away…