Tyrion Lannister: Ah. A group chat. Because historically, these always end well and never in fire or betrayal.

Cersei Lannister: Who invited me to this nonsense.

Jaime Lannister: I did not invite anyone. I don’t even know how this works.

Varys: Interesting. We appear to be gathered without consent. I find that… familiar.

Daenerys Targaryen: If this is a council, then it requires leadership. I will tolerate this briefly.

Jon Snow: I think I clicked the wrong raven.

Sansa Stark: No. You clicked exactly the right raven. That’s the problem.

Arya Stark: Who’s the weakest person here.

Brienne Of Tarth: This chat should be used responsibly and with honour.

Sandor Clegane: I already hate it.

Samwell Tarly: Um—hello! I’ve prepared notes if this is a meeting? Also I may have broken something trying to mute—

Tyrion Lannister: Too late, Sam. The damage is done.

Varys: Before we proceed, a question: Does anyone know why the chat title just changed itself?

SYSTEM: User “Yrsa Vinter” has joined the chat.

Daenerys Targaryen: …Who.

Cersei Lannister: Absolutely not.

Sandor Clegane: Oh for f—