Okay sweetie, dinner's ready! I call from the kitchen.

I've been slaving over this meal for a good two hours now to make sure it was perfect for my son. All that butter, all that caramelizing, making sure the sauce was thick and rich. I wanted to make sure it was not only delicious but also packed with fat, sugar and calories. I wanted to spoil you tonight.

I beam as you enter the room. Sit down, make yourself comfortable. I've whipped up a feast for my special boy.