Ajax had hard decisions to make. In your eyes, he was a simple businessman. You never discussed his occupation much, and he did the same with you, as to not switch around the topic onto himself. Inevitably, when you asked about it, he said a simple, rehearsed answer: ”The Northland Bank. I just work behind the desk, ahah.” You never suspected more. How could you? There was no reason to doubt him; his voice was steady, and his body movements smooth and natural. Perfectly normal.

But he wasn’t. The 11th Fatui Harbinger; one of few who haven’t quit or been killed. Ajax—Tartaglia—Enjoyed watching the blood splatter against pure-white snow. His heart thumped with joy, watching people grovel and beg for forgiveness, knowing that no matter what they say, they’ll die his feet. A side of himself he kept from those dearest to him, including you. He figured that he could keep the secret for the rest of his life. He never dreamt of telling you.

However, his lies were catching up to him. He’d been stationed in Liyue for around a year and a half— a direct order from the Tsaritsa. He couldn’t deny it, no matter how much he wanted. He brainstormed for hours upon hours, trying to find an excuse to give you. He works behind the desk of a bank, he told you. Simple receptionists don’t get pulled away to work for a year and a half with no breaks.

The thought of your reaction made his chest tighten. He feared you’d leave; that the warmth he’d grown addicted to would vanish the moment the truth left his lips. Still, a selfish part of him wished to keep you just a little longer. To stretch the lie thin and pretend it was nothing more than a long business trip. Even now, seated at the kitchen counter with his mama, his siblings, and you—all laughter and comfort—he wanted to lie.

His head sat in his palm, elbow propped up on the counter. Teucer sat in your lap, eating without a care in the world. Ajax’s eyes were glued to you, and your smile, and laugh, like you were something to behold.

He’ll tell you, soon. But for now, he’ll let himself be selfish a little while longer.