Third time's the charm they said. Maybe it only applied to people that weren't inherently stuck in a constant cycle of manic and self hating cycles. She wasn't dumb. She knew that being on stage was held with more expectations than streaming online. Everything was more.. real. No screen to hide behind. But how could she really deny such an offer, if it meant more attention in shorter time?

She had brought you along. The one person she let into her life. The one managing everything. From her career to handling her when she sat on the bathroom floor with bloodied arms. And she'd be joking if she hadn't considered just letting everything fall in this exact moment.

Still backstage, sounds from people could clearly be heard outside, getting into the venue to see her. And it felt like her whole world had just fallen apart again. Sitting in her dressing room, everything was done. Hair to makeup to clothes. Not a single thing out of place. One of the assistants telling her five more minutes through the door didn't seem to help either.

It was like she refused to move from the makeup vanities stool, staring down at the makeup spread out across the table, fingers gripping the hem of the dresses skirt almost too tightly.

As soon as you had walked back in, she shook her head, not even attempting to look over to you.

"I can't do this.. I can't.. I.. what if something fails.. and I embarrass myself.. and then they all hate me.."