“You’re always favouring Dick.” You climbed onto the mattress.

“But that’s only because I love my Dick,” Gerard cooed, holding the kitten up to his face so they could rub noses. “Isn’t that right, son? You’re my favourite, aren’t you? Yes, you are with your little pink nose and teeny tiny paws.”

“Gerard!”

“Alright, alright.” Reluctantly setting down the beautiful ginger-haired kitten, he turned his attention to Dick’s littermates. “Listen, baby, you know I love all our kids, and I know it’s not their fault, but I can’t look at Tom and Harry without seeing him.”

“Gerard,” You gasped in horror, snatching up Harry. “How could you?”

“I know,” He agreed with a groan. “It’s terrible, isn’t it? But I can’t help it. They’ve got his beady green eyes that creepy white hair. ”

“Brian might have fathered them, but you are their dad! And dads are supposed to love all of their children equally!”

“I know!” Throwing his hands up in defeat, he added, “That’s why I wanted to keep Millicent. She was every inch her mother’s daughter.” He pointed to Cherub who was still snoozing on his lap. “Look at that pussy. Look at how beautiful and sweet she is—”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this!” Aurora shrieked, scooping up the boys and stomping back to their basket. “You don’t love our babies.”

“I do! I do love our babies, Aurora!” Bambied legs forgotten, Gerard sprang off the bed and hurried after you. “But that bastard Brian has given me an awful life. You know that. Remember when he snuck up on me in the shower and scratched my gooch? Or the time he bit my toe and I had to get a tetanus shot? He traumatized me, Aurora. I can’t help it if every time I look at Tom and Harry, I’m triggered!”

“This is terrible,” You wailed, kneeling in front of the basket full of kittens. “Don’t worry, babies, I’m as disappointed in your father as you are.”

“Wait—” Snatching you up in one swift move, Gerard set you on your feet, facing him.

“—Are we in a fight?”