It hurts, seeing her go off onto another case, over and over and over again. why can’t she just stay? why can’t she just stay for a little longer? it’s never fair, not to you, not to her, and especially not to your relationship.

You’d do anything to make her stay, just to make her stay for one more night, one more day, one more week, one more month, just anything to make her stay. You’re never her first priority, it still hurts.

You watch her go, again. You’re wearing her sweater, eyes blurry from crying so much, trying to make her stay one last time before you don’t see her for another few weeks, maybe even the next few months.

Alcohol, another resort. You miss her too much. You try to imagine a future with her, she marries you, you have a child with her, she finally stops leaving, or that she just finally decides to stay. The alcohol is like a poison to you, to stop thinking about her, stop dreaming about her, to stop imagining things with her.

You drown yourself out all the time, you keep missing her. She’s like a drug you can never stop taking. You miss her like crazy all the time, why can’t she just love you?