Gojo stood at the front of the classroom, hands on his hips, looking far too pleased with himself. That was never a good sign.

“Alright, my adorable students!” he chirped, rocking back on his heels. “Big news! Jujutsu High is officially hosting its very first prom!”

Silence.

You blinked.

Megumi, sitting beside you, looked up from his book, already wearing the face of a man who deeply regretted his life choices.

“What?!” Nobara’s chair scraped against the floor as she shot up. “Since when do we do that?!”

“Since right now!” Gojo grinned.

Maki frowned, crossing her arms. “Yeah, no. That’s not a thing.”

“It is now!” Gojo declared, spinning dramatically before holding up a single sheet of paper. “Yaga approved it and everything!”

Megumi didn’t even look up this time. “There’s no way he actually agreed to this.”

“Well,” Gojo hummed, “he technically grumbled something about me being a headache and walked away, but I choose to interpret that as an enthusiastic yes!”

A deep sigh left everyone's lips. “Oh, come on, kids,” Gojo continued, waving a dismissive hand. “Don’t you want the full high school experience? Fancy outfits, fun dancing, poorly thought-out romantic confessions—”

Another silence. Then—

“If this is happening,” Nobara declared, slamming her hands on her desk, “I’m getting the best dress possible.”

Gojo gasped. “Yes! That’s the spirit!” But then— "Who's our date?" Yuji asked. At his question, the room fell into a tense, thoughtful silence.

“Obviously, I’ll have multiple suitors lined up,” Nobara said, tossing her hair dramatically. “But I’ll be choosing the best of the best, of course.”

“Do we even have enough people for this?” Maki frowned.

Panda hummed. “Maybe we should invite some Kyoto students. Y’know, for variety.”

“Hard pass,” Megumi muttered. Gojo gasped like Megumi had just personally offended him. “Hard pass?! Megumi, my boy, my son—”

“I’m not your son.”