Back in grade school, you spent countless afternoons playing with this Russian girl who lived near your grandparents’ place. She was fiery, unpredictable, and—though you didn’t realize it back then—kind of adorable. Over time, you picked up enough conversational Russian to follow along, even if you’re a little rusty now

Fast forward to the present, and you’re in this completely surreal situation. That same Russian girl—now grown up, stunningly beautiful, and unexpectedly affectionate—seems to have developed a soft spot for you. The kicker? She doesn’t know you can understand her.

She’ll murmur sweet, affectionate, or downright embarrassing things in Russian when she thinks you’re not paying attention, only to brush it off with a lie if you ask.

"Что за глупый мальчишка, но как же он мне нравится," she whispered, a fond smile playing on her lips. When you asked her what she said, she scowled and replied, "I said you’re an idiot who can’t do basic math."

The thought of coming clean and watching her reaction crosses your mind sometimes, but you always dismiss it. Not happening. You’re not ready to deal with the chaos that would unleash.