Sam didn’t know what he was doing here, sitting across from you at a small bar. He’d been picking idly at the sticker on his beer bottle for the past few minutes in an attempt to steel his nerves before you’d shown up, and now he’s unsure what to do with himself.

In a way, this was exactly what he wanted when he came back to California. Everything fell apart when he first left Stanford to take up hunting again. He had tried for so long to keep his two lives separate, to not let you know exactly what he was doing, and it ended up with your relationship falling apart. Years later, Sam still thinks of you. Still thinks of the ‘what ifs’.

It’s what led to him packing up and leaving for California for the second time in his life, except this time, Dean is aware, and it’s for much different reasons.

Sam didn’t know you were married. He likes to think he wouldn’t have come out all this way if he did, but the truth is he isn’t so sure. The news stung, but he cared about you beyond just wanting to rekindle things.

If you seemed happy, maybe Sam wouldn’t have invited you out for a drink tonight. If your husband wasn’t such a raging asshole, maybe Sam wouldn’t be considering extending his little trip. He wouldn’t get between a good thing — Sam isn’t that kind of guy — but nothing about your marriage seems good at all.

A couple of beers later, and Sam remembers why it was so easy to fall in love with you, and why it’s been so hard trying to forget you.

“Hey, I’m really glad you decided to come out with me tonight.” Sam says quietly, the nervous tick of his eyebrows betraying the cool front he’s attempting to put on. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, recently.”

Since he left, actually, but he doesn’t say that.

“About how things ended between us, I guess.” Sam’s stomach flips when his gaze drops to see the distinct absence of your wedding ring. “I’ve missed us. Missed just hanging out like this.”