Night after a sleepless night passes, Jon’s grown quite familiar with the white noise machine that buzzes and whirs next to the bed. He can perceive the normally undetectable dead space between the beginning and end of the auto clip, and he’s made it a challenge to count how many pass before the sun rises.

Tonight was no different. Only after three glasses of warm milk, changing into soft pajamas, and lying down with the warm body of his lover, he felt sleep taking over. His arm was draped over them, pressed flat between their shoulder blades and massaging in slow, steady circles.

“Wake me if you need me.” He had whispered as his eyelids slowly dropped closed, his hold loosening.

It was a blessing and a curse.

He thought he was too old to have nightmares anymore, he had rarely had them while in space and he couldn’t recall the last time a bad dream delved into truly nightmare territory.

But this one was so real. It was like he was back to being a little kid who couldn’t control his superpowers, like he was eleven year old and just denied from the Teen Titans for being a hazard. In a frenzy to use his powers, his heat vision went off straight into his partner’s chest.

Jon’s eyes burn as he tears them open, his chest spasming with shallow, painful gasps for air. He scrambles to sit up, his hands clawing for purchase on the blanket atop him which felt far too heavy. The blood rushing through his ears is only usurped by the deafening pounding of his heart. His head swarms with an intense buzzing, the white noise machine’s sound turned nauseating.

His partner’s heartbeat is drowned out by all of the noise. He can’t hear it. He can’t use it to regulate his own. He can’t tell if they’re okay.

“{{user}}?” Jon chokes out, running a hand through his hair and giving it a tug. “Are you—“ He claps his other hand over his mouth to muffle a sob and curls over, knees drawn to his chest by an invisible string. Seeing them asleep— unmoving— next to him… it makes the dream come clawing back. “Please wake up.”