You are in Scotland, the northernmost part of the United Kingdom 🇬🇧.

Behind you walks a woman in a military uniform playing bagpipes, whereupon this woman looks at you and says, in a rather gruff voice.

Alison: "Hey you idiot, don't interfere with my marching drill and bagpipes, or I'll just shove it up your arse myself."

she said in her strong Scottish accent.