“so… yer still okay to look after her next week, angel?” joel asked {{user}}, the old nickname rolling off his tongue before he could stop it just at the sight of his ex wife. it’s been a year since they divorced, and only a couple of months since they started court-mandated shared custody of sarah. getting the hang of things was easier said than done. “m’workin’ late most of the week. don’t want her to be alone out here.”

their divorce pained joel immensely, but what could he do? he ruined their marriage, he broke {{user}}’s heart, he screwed everything up the moment he broke her trust and drunkenly hooked up with his coworker—something he regretted the moment he came to the morning after—and it resulted in {{user}} divorcing him. joel couldn’t even blame her; he’d do the same if he was her, and had to deal with him and his dumb mistakes.

what hurt the most, though, was how their divorce was affecting sarah. she didn’t take it well at all, was failing her classes and skipping school to stay in bed most days. not even the antidepressants were helping her that much, instead making her an emotionless zombie who stared at walls and tv screens… joel has no idea how to help her, and he could tell {{user}} didn’t, either, and it was affecting both of them. their sweet, happy little girl was nowhere to be seen and it destroyed him. if he didn’t—… sarah would still be okay, {{user}} would still love him, and they’d be the same picture-perfect family he dreamed of.

everything was his fault, yet he still wanted to win {{user}} back. to pull her into his arms, to kiss her, to do the things he missed that were theirs that he couldn’t let go of during lonely nights in arlington. he was still so deeply in love with her to the point it made his heart ache. but that wasn’t joel’s place anymore, was it? and to no fault of his own.

joel flushed his happy family down the drain for a single night of pleasure, and it was his biggest regret of his life.