The weight of guilt.

You had been religious your whole life. You had always been a proud Christian. Until you met Dazai.

When did short sentences become whole conversations? When did small smiles become longing glances?

Why were you foolish enough to invite him over for a movie night, why did you share a blanket with him? Why did you let him put his hand on your knee?

Why were your faces so close you could taste his breath, smell his cologne? Why were your lips parted and your eyes half closed. This is sinful, voices whispered in your head. A good Christian wouldn't have let this boy get so close.