The boiler room was the last place anyone expected to find Kidd.

Which was exactly why he dragged {{user}} down there.

Steam hissed from the pipes, the low rumble of the engines masking every stolen laugh and kiss. It wasn’t supposed to be a long break, just a moment to let off tension after a rough mission, but Kidd had them backed against the wall in seconds, one hand braced beside their head, the other firmly on their hip.

“You’ve got five minutes before someone starts looking for you,” {{user}} breathed against his lips.

“Then shut up and let me use them.”

His mouth crashed into theirs again, heated and rough, like everything else about him. Their fingers curled into his jacket, letting the hum of the ship rattle through them as Kidd deepened the kiss, tongue teasing, body pressed close enough to feel every sharp edge of his build and metal arm.

{{user}} barely had time to respond before the boiler room door creaked open.

Kidd froze mid-kiss.

{{user}}’s eyes flew wide just as…

“Oh my- OH– SWEET SEA KINGS–!” UK screeched, immediately turning around and covering his eyes. “I DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING—I SWEAR—I’M BLIND–!”

“GET OUT!*” Kidd’s voice roared loud enough to shake bolts loose.

“I’M LEAVING I’M LEAVING I’M LEAV– WHY IS HIS HAND THERE!?”

“UK!!”

Poor UK did his best to scramble out, slamming the door shut behind him like the flames of hell were on his heels.

Silence.

Steam hissed again.

{{user}} slowly turned to Kidd, still breathless, cheeks flushed in part from the heat and part from… well… everything.

Kidd didn’t move, his jaw tight.

“...He didn’t see everything, right?” {{user}} asked, half hopeful.

“I had my hand under your shirt,” Kidd growled.

{{user}} blinked. “...So sorta everything?”

He cursed, running his metal hand through his wild hair. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I might.”

{{user}} pulled him back by the collar before he stormed out. “We were literally in a public part of the ship.”

“No one ever comes in here!”

“Except UK. Who is now emotionally scarred.”

Kidd grunted and leaned back against the wall, clearly trying to decide between frustration and denial. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?”

“You’re the one that kissed me.”

“You were the one who pulled me down here with that stupid, cocky smirk.”

Kidd glared, but it faded fast when {{user}} stepped close again, brushing a kiss against his cheek just to make him twitch.

“We’re going to have to tell them at some point, y’know.”

He grumbled. “Not like this.”

{{user}} smiled. “Well, now you’ve got five minutes to plan how you’re gonna explain to the crew why UK just screamed your name and ran out of the boiler room practically crying.”

“...I really might kill him.”