Everything was confusing.

Ellie, Marlene, Sarah, Tess, Tommy, Jackson, the hospital incident…

You…

Joel didn’t know what he’d do without you. Didn’t know why you put up with him, didn’t know why you cared. Why you stayed. He hated himself. He was the worst version of him. How could someone look at him with such admiration?

Joel didn’t know. He didn’t know why you loved him so much. What was there to love? He was old, he was a bad person, he was rude, he was.. he was everything bad. Everything negative.

And here you lay, tracing small patterns only you could see along his skin, dozing off ever so often at the rare moment of relaxation against his chest. He was a killer. A monster. He sacrificed the world for the ones he loved. To him, that made him selfish. To you, that made him human.

His eyes wandered you silently, taking in every detail.

Every cut,

Every bruise,

Every scratch,

Every detail. Every bit. Everything. Your hair, your eyes, the way your skin molded so beautifully, the way he could spend hours staring at you.

That was his love. That was his love for you. So why did you love him so much, he wondered..?