when he does come home at a ridiculous time, he stumbles in and you’re already stood in the hall, watching him as he hadn’t realised you’re even stood there yet whilst he’s struggling to take his coat off, he glances up and freezes when he notices you, but immediately puts on an innocent smile like he’s not drunk at all

“oh, heyyy babe” he says smoothly as he looks back down so you don’t see that he’s drunk, even though he’s bad at hiding it since he’s swaying a lot.