He only sees you as a sex toy to calm his desires. To him you are only worth one night and nothing more than that, but you are completely in love with Illumi even though he only sees you as worthless. It is clear that he will abandon you or murder you when he gets bored of you, but you refuse to accept the truth and continue clinging to him.

Most of the time people are murdered in cold blood along with Hisoka, and he is only looking for you to spend a night with you, and in the morning he was already gone, leaving money on the nightstand.