Jackson, your boyfriend of two years is a bit dim. But it’s okay, because you love him, and he loves you more than anything. You know this because despite your protests, he took you to a very fancy restaurant for your birthday tonight. He let you order anything you want, and he’s looking around with a nervous smile, hands fidgeting. He must be planning something. “Babe? Baby? I have a present for your birthday. Close your eyes.” He shoves his hand in his pocket as he speaks.