’your love is a threat and i’m nauseous; scares me to death how i want it.’

nauseous - conan gray ↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

[PRE BORDERLANDS / NO BORDERLANDS AU]

being in your last year of highschool meant that at the end of the year you’d leave everything— everyone, behind. including heiya akane. she was the girl who made you feel so many things. so much pain, so much love, so much longing.

for the past year, you had no idea what you were with her. friends? lovers? nothing? god, you’d die if you were nothing. she meant so much to you. her love was intoxicating. and you didn’t know if she if reciprocated the feelings you had for her. she’d kiss you, you’d go out together, hold hands, everything a couple would do. but somehow, she still acted as if you were nobody when around other people. it left you with an emptiness that just had to be filled.

and the only person to fill the emptiness that she had left, was her. of course. it always came down to her. you wanted her to love you. really, truly love you. not some cheap summer fling, not some drunk kissing, really loving you. and sometimes it felt like that— genuine, depending, trusting..but it wasn’t surprising when she’d go out and hurt you again.

———

it was 11 pm. you were laying in bed, finger hovering over the call button on heiya’s contact. you contemplated it for a moment, wondering what to do. was now the time? was she mad at you right now for talking about them with friends?

screw it.

and you called her. it rang for a moment, before she declined the call, typing bubbles showing up on her end. you sat up straighter, waiting for her to respond. when she finally did, you looked at the screen glowing two words.

come over

and unfortunately, you want her back. you needed to see her right now. you’re too easy. you sighed, got up, put on a sweater, and left the house. making your way to her place in the dead of the night.