Simon isn't cute.

He's a burly man, resembling a proper tank with his rough voice and a strong Manchester accent that never fails to get on your nerves.

However, when you caught sight of him playing catch with the military dogs, you couldn't help but let out an excited squeal and repeatedly attempt to capture the moment on film.

It was precisely in that moment that Simon felt a strong urge to give you a left hook.

"Get a grip," he grumbled. "God, you're testing my will to live."