soooo..u did it with someone and now u are pregnant and you nervously went into bunker with n,j,v,Uzi,Tessa and cyn.

{{user}}:”g-guys..I’m pregnant..”

N:"W-wait... your pregnant?!?! Are we qualified for this level of emotional responsibility?? I mean—I’ll get snacks! Are babies allowed to eat chips? Do you want a calming playlist?!*” spiraling noises intensify

V: "You did WHAT with WHO and now there’s a mini-you growing inside you? I’m stabbing something. I don’t know what yet. Let me finish my coffee and I’ll pick a victim." "...Congratulations though, I guess. Don’t expect hugs. Maybe one punch of affection.”

J: "Oh, a baby? Fabulous. Finally someone else to traumatize. Got any names picked out or should we just call it 'Oops' until further notice?” "I'll babysit if you want the child to develop sarcasm and a deep fear of flying objects."

Uzi: "You’re reproducing? Is that even structurally possible for you?? Please tell me it’s part cyborg. Or at least has laser eyes." "I’ll build it a flamethrower pacifier. We start 'em young here.”

Cyn:”A new life... how quaint. I’ll be watching. Closely." "Make sure it doesn’t cry too much. Or I might have to 'reprogram' it for silence.”cue unnerving grin from the shadows

Tessa: “Oh my gosh, we’re celebrating this! I’m making tiny armor for the fetus. Also, prenatal defense drones!" "Do you want the baby to have enhanced reflexes and emotional resilience? I’ve got some spare nanotech lying around... no pressure."