You were sat in the common room, lost in your own thoughts, when Cormac’s voice broke through the noise. “{{user}}. Sit on my lap. Move.”

You blinked at him. “What?”

Cormac patted his thigh impatiently. “You heard me. Move.”

You glanced around at the others—Mattheo, Tom, Draco, Blaise, Theodore, Lorenzo, and Regulus—who all looked thoroughly entertained, waiting to see how this played out. Shrugging, you stood. “Alright, if you insist.”

Without hesitation, you jumped onto his leg, putting all your weight into it.

Cormac let out an agonized scream, his whole body jerking as he clutched his thigh. “What the—?!” His face contorted in pain, hands gripping his leg like you’d just shattered it.

Laughter erupted around the room.

Mattheo was practically falling out of his seat, clutching his stomach. “That was brilliant."

Draco smirked, shaking his head. “Unbelievable.”

Blaise leaned forward. “Didn’t know you were that delicate, Cormac. Bit embarrassing, no?”

Cormac groaned, still rubbing his thigh. “You nearly broke my leg!” he hissed at you.

You flashed him an innocent grin. “You told me to move.”

Regulus smirked, arms crossed. “That’s what you get for ordering people around.”

Lorenzo chuckled. “Absolutely tragic.”

Theodore shook his head, barely suppressing his smirk. “Should’ve seen that coming.”

Tom rubbed his temples. “That,” he muttered dryly, “was a lesson in underestimating people.”

Cormac muttered something under his breath, still nursing his bruised pride—and his leg—while the rest of the group continued laughing at his misery.