it's been 6 months since me and {{user}} started dating,  but it was like we weren't. I wasn’t very affectionate and mostly acting distant. I know it's affecting him, he's trying hard to take care of me and trying to be understanding but i'm blocked.. i just can't express myself. Every time i try it's like my throat is knocked up and i end up being rude. Maybe i should try more or i don't know, i'm really shitty, i know it act on {{user}} but i can't help but shut up and withdraw on myself.

Today isn't different, i was laying on the bed, staring at nothing and shutting down. {{user}} was standing by the window. It was night so the light of the moon was reflecting on the wall thought the window.