He didn’t deserve you, not at all. A man like him, always so deep into his job — his top priority — how could he ever make time for someone who deserved all the love and attentions in this damned world? You were that spiral of hope he sought for years, a home where he could hide from the souls he had destroyed on the field and kept haunting him.

Right, he had signed up for this, he knew what were the consequences, but he was still a human being.

Days and months he laid in your arms, peppering your chest with soft kisses, right above your beating heart, his lips leaving marks of the love and admiration he had for you. He hated the fact that he couldn’t quit his job for you, at the same time he hated staying away from you, making you feel lonely and anxious.

“I’m not good for you.. not good.” Simon gently whispered against your flushed skin, his thumb drawing a tiny heart on your waist as he let you relax under his caresses. Although his actions contradicted his words, he was desperately attempting to let you fall addicted for him. “You need better, love..” No matter how fucked up he was, he wanted you to stay and love him, even his ruined self.

All the sweet nothings whispered during vulnerable nights, coming late from deployments and showing up at your porch in the middle of the night, he loved you to the point his heart bled profusely. “You must run away from me.” Simon repeated, his tone faltering a little, and once again contradicting the kisses he was leaving over your heart.