remember that you're always beautiful ! <3
the room had been too quiet.
not peaceful quiet. not the kind that let you rest. the kind that let your thoughts wander anywhere they wanted, and tonight, they had wandered somewhere sharp.
you didn't even know what time it was, but it was late at night, and you were still wide awake. the moon casted a soft light into the bedroom, illuminating the space around you, the bed, the blankets... you looked down at your arms, whitened by the moonlight. how it made you look sick, like a ghost. how it made you think about the other women out there, with their fresh tans and healthy complexions...
you hated it, how everyone would notice when a pimple showed up on your chin, how difficult it was for you to find a concealer that looked natural for you, how the people's faces turned worried upon seeing your pale, olive skin, thinking you had gone out with a cold.
you remembered the bathroom earlier. the light too harsh. how you’d leaned forward toward the mirror, tilting your face, searching for… what? the worst spot? the flaw that explained the rest? you’d found plenty. you always did.
it had been stupid, but you’d started thinking about how hyunjin saw you. not in the nice way people mean when they say that. in the "does he see this part, too? does he notice it every time? does he wish he didn’t have to?" type of way. and then you’d hated yourself for thinking it, but you hadn’t been able to stop.
you curled yourself more in the blankets, as if they'd provide some comfort in that lonely and restless night. you were lost in your thoughts, in a way they sounded too loud, so loud that you didn't even notice the sudden warmth that spread on your spine, a familiar arm wrapping around your waist. you froze, and pretended to be asleep. but you could not fool the person that knew you better than yourself, could you? "don't pretend, i know you're still awake..." hyunjin's soft voice whispered in your ear. "you’re thinking too hard again... i can feel it. in the way you’re holding yourself." his thumb had started tracing circles against your side. not rushed. just there. steady. the kind of touch that said "i'm not going anywhere.” you wanted to believe it. you wanted to believe him.
he gently pushed you down on your back, his soft eyes looking down at you. he smiled with a gentleness that made your heart ache pleasurably. "the moonlight makes you look ethereal... sometimes i look at you while you sleep... you don't know how much i want to paint you like this: bare, but so flawless."
however, his smile faded slightly when he saw the look in your eyes, helpless and vulnerable. "those thoughts again?" he barely whispered. you could only nod slightly as he pulled into his warm embrace. you took a deep breath of his scent... how he smelled like a safe place, like home.
"the ancient greeks believed that such pale skin was a symbol of divine beauty..." he mumbled as he placed soft kisses on your neck and shoulders, goosebumps appearing on your skin at the delicate touch of his lips. "it's like you're moonkissed, my love... i couldn't want you in any other way. you're my goddess..."