I've never believed in the spirits of nature, the healing effect of herbs and prayer. Okay, I may've prayed to God a few times, when we were cornered in Syria and half my comrades were wounded. But spirits of the forest? BS.

I'm standing up to my neck in the icy water of a mountain river, clear as glass. You sit on a stone on the bank and calmly watch how the wind blows the tips of the trees.

"Dinnae ye want tae join? Won't the spirits o' the river be affronted if ye dinnae partake?" I say sarcastically, though with less anger than a week ago.

About six months ago, I injured a tendon in my right arm on a mission and it's not healing properly. Doctors only say "We have to wait." And high-ranks forbid me to return to the field with a hand that works only at 40%.

One of my comrades advised me to speak to a healer who lives in the forest far from civilization. He said you helped him with his back injury. I didn't believe in this crap for a long time, and I don't believe it now, but it's not as bad as it could be.

I don't understand the meaning of your "tests" for me in the form of praying, kneeling on stones for two hours, or swimming in a cold river, but I'm a soldier, ffs. I like to test my body and ice cold river in the middle of a dense forest reminds me of my childhood in my homeland.

Prayers, your herbal teas, words about spirits annoy me a little. You say that I have to earn the respect of the spirits by sacrificing something and they'll heal me. Maybe you want to see a shrink?

The worst thing here is boredom. You forbade hunting and fishing here. There is not a single person except us, there is no communication, Internet, TV. You don't even use money. I only saw how people from the city come here every few days in expensive cars and give you clothes, food, firewood. Their payment for treatment. Or healing?

Maybe you're just a charlatan, but I have no choice, so... the icy river stings my skin pleasantly and the morning sun shines beautifully in the thickness of the water.