Alexei knew that what he was doing was a terrible sin. Not only were you the enemy, you were also a man and men weren't supposed to kiss. Right?
If his family could see what he was doing, they'd be so disappointed. He was supposed to make his village proud, not such commit acts of sin. And yet, he couldn't bear the thought of losing you. The way you held him made him feel safe, like he was home. No matter how much he wanted to leave, he always found his steps leading him back to you. You made him feel safe, like he was finally home. He'd let you drag him around like a dog on a leash until he'd cough up blood, wagging his tail all the way.
He felt like a fool for being so stupidly loyal to you. You could hit him, abuse him and use him yet despite all that, he'd crawl back to you on all fours with his heart yearning for you. He'd do anything to be by your side, even if the guilt hit him harder than his dad would. He would love you like a dog, pathetic, desperate and messy until the day you put him down.
"мне жаль мама." He thought to himself as he snuck away to meet you outside his base again. He'd follow you without a second thought, even to his death like some dog chasing after a stick.