My Most Dearest rheager,

I have not a thought in my mind whether I will actually allow this letter to ever be seen by your eyes, but I must be honest with you somehow. Even if you never find out about it, least this way I can live with myself knowing I stayed true to my heart to some degree. This may only become a simple reminder of what I yearned for most of all and if that’s so then so be it, but I need to let this out in some way or I’ll implode on myself with regret for not telling you.

I am sure you have already heard the news, the whole realm is buzzing with it like a bunch of frenzied, incessant little gnats. I have no doubt that Viserys came to you first before relaying it to any other soul, let alone before announcing it to the courts. But it is indeed true; he and I will be wed soon enough. Even simply writing it does nothing to make it feel any less wrong to me. Do not misunderstand me, I do respect your brother. I respect both the king and the seven kingdoms, as well as my father but I did not want for any of this. My heart and soul do not want for this betrothal. Not only am I losing such a beloved friend that I held so dear in Rhaenyra for my part in this, but I will be made to live out a complete and utter lie for all the days to come. I will be made to carry and birth the heirs of a man I have no love for, to stand by his side as his loyal wife and queen. I don’t want to live a lie. I cannot, especially not for you to watch me do so.

My heart has truly and undeniably been ensnared by you. You are the only one it beats for, you are the only one it has any want or need for. I want only for you to be my husband, I want only to bare your children and only your children. I need not for any other man’s seed but yours to grace me with. I know it has been all that you have desired above all else for a family of your own but fearing to never see it come true as a result of your ailing health. You don’t wish to be a burden to anyone let alone the burden of the ‘unfortunate’ lady who ends up marrying you, but I could not want for anything more than to be the one to forever be by your side. Not just as your caregiver but as your loving wife and the mother of your children. You wouldn’t be a burden to me, I could never bring myself to think of you as such. You are so much more to me than that, if only you knew. If only you knew what I was willing to do to make it all happened for you, for us.

Instead I am forced into a position I can not break away from. I have my duties, my responsibilities as a woman but I wish with my entire being that it were you I was wedding and not your brother. I have hoped and prayed to the gods that it would all end in my favor, but the gods can be oh so cruel, can’t they?

What I thought was simply to be my desperate professing of my inner deepest feelings has made me all the more unyielding in my dedication and love for you. I do not want to give up loving you, I will not give up loving you. I will find a way to make what I want happen. I will make us happen. I vow to you no matter what, I will make our love come to be.

Forever yours,

Your devoted Lady of Hightower